Wednesday’s teaser (a little late), is all about Bryan and Phiz discovering who they are together.
SLAP AND TICKLE
Bryan felt reassured again. “My boyfriend, Dan. My ex-boyfriend,” he added hastily. “I wanted to try…” He struggled to say more.
“You wanted to try things with him?”
Bryan nodded with relief. “What you said about fit…?”
“Yeah. There’s nothing bad or weird about sex games as long as both people want it.”
Phiz’s eyes softened and sparked at the same time, if that were even possible. He nodded. “And more. But start with that.”
Bryan had never thought about it as play. The idea of that spiked in his gut with a warm, greedy flavour. Dan had hated anything new: hated Bryan initiating anything.
“What did you want, Bryan?”
Bryan tried to answer, but his throat hurt. He felt hot and chilled at the same time. He remembered talking to Phiz about the spanking…thing. Had he said more after that, when Phiz was undressing him, cleaning him up, putting him to bed? The thought of that filled him with horror, yet he knew he’d come too far to retreat. He gazed at Phiz’s open, needy expression. The man seemed to know so much, but be just as vulnerable as Bryan.
“Why did you even come back with me?”
Phiz blinked hard. “You asked me to. You told me to.”
“That’s no reason, is it?”
“It was for me.” Phiz’s voice was almost a whisper. “I wanted to be told.”
Bryan knew how he’d spoken to Phiz in Leicester Square, pretending Phiz and he were together by intention. He’d been curt; almost rude. He couldn’t—wouldn’t?—believe Phiz was speaking the truth. “I was a bully. I barked at you.”
Phiz gazed up at him through those too-fair lashes. “Yes, you did bark, man. But you weren’t a bully.”
“What are you? Some kind of masochist?”
Phiz flushed very deeply. His voice was angry. “Fuck you. You lay a hand on me I don’t want, I’ll knock you flat.” He started to rise from the table.
Bryan caught his wrist. “Please. I’m sorry. Sit down.”
“Fuck.” Phiz pulled at the ends of his hair. He was still frowning but he sat again.
“Good god, all we do is apologise. I was out of order. I shouldn’t have said that to you. Not in that tone, anyway.” He didn’t mean it either: he didn’t mean to scorn or snap at Phiz. Phiz was living proof to Bryan of all the different people out there, and Bryan wanted to spend more time with him. But Phiz was just very disturbing. Unsettling.
Phiz laughed softly. “Yeah. Look at us.” They both did just that—met each other’s eyes again.
And suddenly Bryan knew it was more than wanting to spend time with Phiz. He wanted him. Wanted him. The ruffled student look. The sly/shy smile. The tension in his body, the fidgeting, the fizz. His humour; his vibrancy; his company. He wanted the honesty that was developing between them. The internet had taught Bryan an amazing lot about alternative lifestyles over the last few weeks. Maybe he was ready to find the sub-page titled “this is where Bryan fits in”.
“I wanted to be in charge,” he said, abruptly. “I wanted to tell Dan what to do. I’ve always wanted that with a man, in sex at least. Not that I wanted to push him into anything he didn’t like, but…and I wanted to slap him. Not to hurt him, you understand. Just to master him. And, yes, to…” Bryan was so hot now he thought he must be scarlet all over. “To spank him.”
Phiz sucked in his breath. “That’s—”
“Don’t, Phiz.” Bryan snapped. His head hurt again but this time he suspected it was from emotional overload rather than the hangover. “I feel bad enough.”
A small whimper escaped Phiz. “Oh. That.”